I got a phone call today that really made me smile. It was from an old friend; one I hadn't heard from or thought much about for a while. Just checking in and wondering how I've been.
This friend was very important to me in the past. He, and yes, it was a he, was attentive, thoughtful, interested, and, unfortunately married. But so was I, so we joked that we had something in common.
We worked in the same building but not at the same job, When we saw each other, we chatted and flirted and sometimes had coffee. He listened to all the things my husband didn't, noticed everything new and actually seemed interested in what I had to say.
And all these things I did for him.
Then we'd go back to work and home and do it all over again the next day for five days a week.
There were some very sweet, and and very tempting things he did. After listening, and actually hearing, how much I loved the Arthurian Era, for my birthday, he doctored a picture of himself adding a suit of armor and gave it to me in a card. That same Christmas he gave me a set of Christmas ornaments that had a king, a queen, a knight and a dragon. Who wouldn't think twice about exploring possibilities after that?
But it never went any further than a deep friendship.
Looking back now, I know for a fact that although he was handsome and charming and attentive, for me the fantasy was what I really only wanted. Reality would have meant heartache, lies, deception and mega problems.
So, like Jimmy Carter, I lusted only in my heart and eventually, I left the job and we lost the closeness.
Now some people would still not approve, and some people might say I may have still crossxed the line. But after that, believe it or not, because of this friendship, I began to love who I had at home even more. I can't explain why; I just did.
I have no desire to see my old friend any longer. It was nice that he called; he was in the area. But hearing his voice made me realize that just like Dorothy, when looking for my heart's desire, I needed only look right at home.