G.I. JOE - GOT THAT BOOM BOOM POW

I am fortunate to have to pass the Reading Cinema on my way home from work everyday, so I can scope out the parking lot at 4:30 p.m. when new movies come out. If it is relatively empty I go; packed I don't. Today at 4:30, the parking lot was acceptable for me to scoot in and see G.I. Joe (Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity).

It was okay.

But what I did notice was that it was really the romance that drove this plot. I'm sure that a lot of people might disagree, but they are not romance writers. Trust me, without the romance, Duke and Ripcord would not have been able to save the world or set up the sequel.

Plus, as with my writing at least at times, the secondary characters are much more fun. I found myself wondering if Ripcord and Scarlet would get together in the end or, at the very least, if Scarlet would admit she was attracted to him. After all, I knew things would work out for Duke and Ann one way or another; it had to. Their romance was integral to the plot.

Don't get me wrong, the special effects were incredible and the movie did live up to its hype in a lot of ways. And personally, I found twisted satisfaction in the fact that Cobra attacked Paris and G.I. Joe had to save all those ungrateful French people (again). OK, G.I. Joe is supposed to be a mix of elite soldiers from around the world, but Duke, Ripcord and Ann definitely spoke with American accents.

Channing Tatum was okay, Marlon Jennings does a good job as the sidekick providing the necessary comic relief, and the girls, Sienne Miller and Rachel Nichols are both hot in their roles. I found it interesting that the good martial arts guy wore black while the bad martial arts guy wore white.

All in all it was all testosterone and a lot of blowing up things like Transformers, but not quite as good. I went because I also had to play G.I. Joe with my son when he was small. Only I never got to be a sexy villaness like Ann.

The critics will probably pan it, but most people will like it. It ends with the Black Eyed Peas "Boom Boom P0w" and that about sums it ip.

And all the Romance writers who see it will notice that the plot can't survive without a typical Harelequin-type concept to save the day

Stop the World. My Husband has a cold.

At least that's what he thinks is going to happen.



Every time the hub gets a sniffle, it's the same thing. He's the only one who ever had whatever it is he has or thinks he has, he's never going to fee well again and the world is going to stop turning. (Which would be very bad because we'd lose gravity and all fly up into the air at the same time).

The martyr in him also suddenly comes out.

Him (Hand on head, coughing for effect)- Don't worry about me. I'll just get some soup.
Me - Fine ( know where this is going, but I'll play along)
Him - (Taking one small step toward the stove) By the way where is the soup?
Me- In the pantry.
Him- (Now standing motionless and looking left and right) And where is the pantry?

Does it sound familiar to anyone?

Next he plants his germ infested body in the living room and struggles with the remote, because even if men are taking their last breath, they must be watching TV while doing it. Picture of charm, he is in his pj bottoms with a box of tissues on his chest and a garbage pail next to his chair so he can dispose of anything he feels will not advance him to a total miracle cure. He is now reclining, motionless, eyes closed. But even as I try to take the remote and change the channel, he says "I was watching that." Okay, I understand now. He has x-ray vision and can see right through his eyelids.

Then it's honey, get me a blanket. Done. Honey, can I have a pillow. Done. Honey, can I have some juice. Done. All this while I'm dusting, doing laundry, taking all the phone calls, cleaning up the dinner he asked for the day before and now can't possibly eat and trying desperately to write at least 3 pages in between royal summons.

After a few hours of noises coming from him that belong in a Stephen King movie trailer, I ask him if he wants to a few more cold tablets to help him feel better. It goes something like this.


Me - Honey, maybe it's time to take a few more cold pills.
Him - I didn't take anything yet.
Me - but you came home from work 6 hours ago.
Him - I was afraid it would put me to sleep.

PUT HIM TO SLEEP!!!! Wasn't that what we're supposed to do when we get sick? Hydrate, rest and sleep??

Deep breath. It could be worse. A cold is only going to last three days.

I'll be at the Holiday Inn until then.

Having a pair of Jimmy Choo's on your Bucket Lists Can Be Dangerous

So I have this Bucket List. I think a lot of people my age do. I’m preparing to turn another decade so I made it about two months ago. I admit I cheated and put on some stuff I already did just so I could cross things off. Like going to Iceland, getting elected to public office and writing a book.

There are things on there I may never do like skydiving (too scared), mountain climbing (too old) and losing 100 pounds (too lazy). But there is also stuff that I might get around to doing like visiting Greece, getting a facelift and holding my grandchild.

But I’m getting off track.

So on my Bucket List is “buy a pair of Jimmy Choo’s.” I’m sure you all know what Jimmy Choo’s are, but if, like me, sometimes you hit the delete button in your mind for useless facts, Jimmy Choo’s are exclusive and expensive shoes that are instantly recognizable. The leather is rich and the heels are high, but Jimmy Choo is synonymous with the 'red carpet' shoe of choice and I had to have a pair. Only so I could cross out an entry on my Bucket List.

Who am I kidding? I just wanted them.

Finally I get a pair and I stuff my size 9’s into them and get in the car. Never mind that I can hardly push the gas pedal or the brake because the heel is so damn high. Never mind that at my age, my legs are not designed walk or balance on a spike the circumference of a pencil point. Never mind that I should be 30 years younger to be allowed to purchase a pair of these things. But no matter, I’m doing this.

I make it out of my car in the parking deck, over to the elevator, down to the first floor, across the lobby, up to the third floor and get to the door to my office suite. All I have to do now is get to my office and plop my butt in my chair and I’m home free. So what do I do? I lean forward and miss the door handle. My center of gravity shifts because I’m expecting to grab onto something solid and I fall flat on my ass, coffee flying over my shoulder, purse going one way, briefcase the other in front of everyone who works on my floor because they all happened to arrive at work at the same time for some reason.

And you know what, not one of them believes me when I tell them how it happened. They think it’s all because I fell off my Jimmy Choo’s.

I had to take the day off, fill out an incident report, go to the doctor, get x-rays and spend the rest of the day putting ice on every body part below my neck.

So now I have another entry on my Bucket List. Actually WEAR Jimmy Choo’s and not kill myself in them.

Remembering...

I got a phone call today that really made me smile. It was from an old friend; one I hadn't heard from or thought much about for a while. Just checking in and wondering how I've been.

This friend was very important to me in the past. He, and yes, it was a he, was attentive, thoughtful, interested, and, unfortunately married. But so was I, so we joked that we had something in common.

We worked in the same building but not at the same job, When we saw each other, we chatted and flirted and sometimes had coffee. He listened to all the things my husband didn't, noticed everything new and actually seemed interested in what I had to say.

And all these things I did for him.

Then we'd go back to work and home and do it all over again the next day for five days a week.

There were some very sweet, and and very tempting things he did. After listening, and actually hearing, how much I loved the Arthurian Era, for my birthday, he doctored a picture of himself adding a suit of armor and gave it to me in a card. That same Christmas he gave me a set of Christmas ornaments that had a king, a queen, a knight and a dragon. Who wouldn't think twice about exploring possibilities after that?

But it never went any further than a deep friendship.

Looking back now, I know for a fact that although he was handsome and charming and attentive, for me the fantasy was what I really only wanted. Reality would have meant heartache, lies, deception and mega problems.

So, like Jimmy Carter, I lusted only in my heart and eventually, I left the job and we lost the closeness.

Now some people would still not approve, and some people might say I may have still crossxed the line. But after that, believe it or not, because of this friendship, I began to love who I had at home even more. I can't explain why; I just did.

I have no desire to see my old friend any longer. It was nice that he called; he was in the area. But hearing his voice made me realize that just like Dorothy, when looking for my heart's desire, I needed only look right at home.

Transformers - More than Meets the Eye

I was never allowed to be an Autobot.

Transformers first appeared when my youngest son was around 4. He took to it like them proverbial duck to water. Them and the Gobots. But the Gobots never quite achieved the super star status as did the Transformers.

It all begins with the name. The heroes, Optimus Prime or Leader-1? Which has the better name? That also goes for the evil machines – Megatron or Cy-Kill? Need I even ask?

The Gobots had boring henchmen like Cop-Tur and Turbo and Tank. While the Transformers had (and still apparently have according to the $55 million opening day box office take) Bumblebee, Ironhide, Bluestreak and Sunstreaker if you are an Autobot. If you lean more toward the dark side you’re a Decepticon such as Star Scream, Galvatron, Shockwave and Buzzsaw. C’mon. You know these guys are way cooler just by what they are called.

It was a good thing I was into sci-fi and trucks from having three boys because these things became a staple in my house for a long time when they first were introduced by Hasbro.

Which brings me to why I loved seeing the Transformers movies. It certainly wasn’t the plots. There were none to speak of. The storylines jumped all around, some character lines weren’t tied up and finalized and mostly, things blew up and there was a lot of noise; for over two and a half hours.

And while Shia is not unpleasant to look at for that length of time, he’s no Hugh Jackman as Wolverine or Chris Pine as the current Captain Kirk.

But I digress.

In truth, I loved seeing the movies because they remind me of a time long ago when my son was small, innocent of what lay ahead for him and totally and unconditionally my best friend. We played Transformers in blanket-made caves on his bed, in kitchen pot hide-aways in the living room and in the alien-plant terrain of the backyard flower garden. We regularly blew up an awful lot of Tupperware and foiled the latest sinister plot hatched by the evil Decepticons. On Saturday mornings we’d watch the Transformers cartoon over cheerios and end the day with a book about the heroic Optimus Prime.

Back then I was never allowed to be an Autobot because my son was destined to save the world.

He’s only 26. Maybe he still is.

Celebrating 85 years of excellence

Dad's turning 85 this year.

So to celebrate, we book the Spirit of New Jersey cruise around Manhattan and got what's left of the family together. We lost two very important members last year; my youngest sister and my brother-in-law. My sister to cancer and my BIL to a brain aneurysm, Both are tough to deal with, and both became angels way before their time.

But Dad's still here and that's a good thing.

We began with a limo ride for 15 of us. This may sound weird, but a stretch Hummer is not very comfortable. Who knew the legroom was marginal and most of the inside would be taken up by a bar?

But we got there and met the rest of the family and friends. After we boarded my greatest hope was that none of my family fall or get pushed overboard. Both were a distinct possibility. (I found out later that there was also a pool by the cousins to see how long it would take for my youngest son to piss me off. Well no one did that day so dad got the money).

The food was good, the cruise was wonderful marked by some very important moments.

When we sailed passed the Statue of Liberty, God Bless America began to play and most of the people around us started to cry, me included. It was very moving going by the Lady and hearing that song. For me it was partly because I come from a very patriotic family; we tend to bleed red, white and blue, and partly because after 9-1-1, every Sunday in church for a year, we ended the service by singing God Bless America.

Then the hosts announced dad's birthday, gave him a crown and a dozen roses. He looked a little like Miss America in drag, but the people on the ship gave him a standing ovation. Okay, so I cried again. I'm a wuss. I admit it.

But the best thing about the day was watching the family interact. Cousins pushing cousin, aunt and uncles yelling at them, everyone kissing everyone, story telling, one upsmanship and a lot of "remember whens." It got me thinking - It doesn't get any better than that!!

Life gets really sucky sometimes

The week started off bad and got worse.

I had to buy my dad a car. He's 85, but more like 65. He and my stepmom are very active and cannot be without wheels. So I sucked it up and, with my sister, bought him a car.

Then the next day, he got chest pains and had to go to the hospital. He's fine. Turns out his chest pains were due to three straights days of Sloppy Joes for dinner and not something medical. Wonder if he knows about fish.

Then I had a huge fight with #1 son who came out here from Arizona to go to Dad's 85th birthday party which we are having on Sunday. I thought he should have done one thing; he thought he should have done something else. So then I had to apologize to him because I got worried about dad and didn't want my last conversation with my son to be yelling. We love each other rather loudly sometimes.

Then it rained and the river came up and I was afraid we were going to get flooded again, so I told my husband I wanted to move and we fought via telephone off and on until the rain stopped and I finally read that the Flash Flood Warning was for low lying areas and not river basins which were not expected to be affected. I guess I'll have to actually make dinner tonight.

Then my boss annouced she was going to retire and that our office was getting combined with another so I have no chance of getting her job because her job is being eliminated as a cost saving measure once she goes. Hell, I've been waiting for that job for 18 years.

Now what?

I still have a dad who is smiling because he has a new car, my son and I have made up, my house is dry, my husband is doing the dishes and I still have a job. I guess that's what.

Ok, never mind. I guess the week is ending up OK after all.